Siblings...

When you have siblings most would think you know each other almost as well as the back of your hands.  You fight with each other sure, but in the end you are still blood and love each other till the end.

Last night I watched the HBO documentary special There's Something Wrong with Aunt Diane, its a story of a "super mom" type mother driving home from a camping trip with her 3 children and  2 neices who drives the wrong way on a NY highway, killing herself, 2 of her children, both of her neices as well as 3 other innocent drivers.  Autopsy results show that she was drunk and high on pot.  It was a heavy documentary to watch but intriging at the same time.

Her family is in denial that she would ever purposely drink and drive let alone smoke putting the children in danger like that but later admit that they kept a botle of Vodka in their camper during the season for camping trips and admit that she occasionally smoked to help her relax so she could sleep at night.

While I can not relate to this situation directly...I can relate to loosing a loved one in such a way.  My family lost a very dear member, my brother, in a drunk driving accident.  I won't go into details of the story that unfolded, but my brother was the innocent driver killed while the guilty walked away and only served 4yrs for his crime but that's not my point of this post.

My point is that after watching this show, it made me think...how much did or do I really know my brother?  We grew up together until a certain point and then were separated.  He lived with my dad and I with my mom.  That's just how our lives worked out.  After he died, it seemed all I really knew about him was his favorite football team and that he joined the service....I never really knew my brother but one thing I did know, he was the one I looked up to, the one I called my hero.  It made me sad to think that the one person I am suppose to know, I didn't really know.  I remember being so upset because the last time I spoke to him, I didn't tell him I loved him...did I need to tell him or did he already know?  I will never know and only hope he knew.

Always tell your loved ones you love them, take the time to show them how much they mean to you.

I'm quitting..

I've been a smoker since I was 17yrs old and early this month I got a bad cold that later turned to bronchitis.  Any who, since getting sick I have smoked maybe 4-6 cigarettes in the last month.  So I figured that since I have cut down drastically...I am on the road of trying to quit my smoking habit.  Orbitz Bubblemint gum is my new best friend...lol

So there's a short update on the happenings in my little life....have a great weekend everyone!

Bootcamp

I started a Boot camp class not too long ago in order to stick with my resolution of the new job and loosing the weight.  I actually weighed myself the other week and it definitely wasn't as bad as I thought but definitely not as good as I wanted...I need to loose 45lbs to be at my "happy" weight...not the weight the doctors say I should be...but the weight that makes ME happy.

Since then I have had to quit boot camp for financial reasons but with the tools I learned in the class I can continue doing the exercises until I can get back in class.  My trainer is awesome, he's motivating and has faith I can do all the exercises from start to finish.  It helps ALOT.  Anywho that's all the update for now with out going into details lol.

Have a great week everyone!

Time...

too much time alone is dangerous.  All you have time to do is think...and think...and think.

Typical day on the computer checking email, cleaning out the spam, so forth.  Then on to FB and there lies the problem.  Time alone and boredom again is dangerous.  I see posts on my sons FB and decided to log in and check around.  Lots of "friends" on there I don't know, his girlfriend, and his dad's girlfriend..or whatever she is this week.

Any who, I see there's a message and of course I read it..yes I admit...I was snooping.  A "friend" says his g/f is cheating....wow.  so after investigating more.  His g/f only a few days ago went from in a relationship to its complicated to (just yesterday) single.  As I read on more, one of her posts is about how upset she is and then her "friends" make comments about how she was in an 11mo relationship but yet always seems to be in another during that same time.  That she also wanted to go out another guy (according to him) while she is supposedly dating my son, but says her and Bubba are back together again as of yesterday....wow.  I'm shocked at the teens today.  I don't know what to say to him or do.

OK so I got off track, my original reason is the ex girlfriend has an album labeled "our family".  Now anyone who knows me and the things that go on, knows that she is anything BUT a motherly figure in my boys' lives.  She is always yelling at the kids (her own included), her and the ex get into physical fights, cops get called, she's been in jail for assault against their Grandma and their dad, he moves out almost on a regular basis, yet goes back to her every time...and she thinks she has the right to include my boys as "her" family??  It angers me and saddens me at the same time.  My boys want to come home, but I do not have the finances to get them back...not to mention that in cases like mine, the judges in our area have the attitude of "its been over a year and things are working "fine" why change them now?"  Why change them now?!  Because my kids don't want to live in a house where everything is in a uproar and unstable.  They want to be in their own room and able to call things "theirs" and not have to feel guilted into staying with their dad.  Unfortunately their dad is a jerk as well and anytime the kids even mention it, he gets upset and lays on the guilt trip..."do you know what i have done to keep a roof over your head?" and so on.

So yeah too much time on your hands results in this....lol.  I think i need to go out to the pool and get some sun...

I'm a new mom!

We have a new edition to our family!  She's the cutest little thing!  We adopted her a few weeks ago and boy have things  been busy!  She's a handful but we love her just the same.

Meet Tipsy!